Tuesday, August 25, 2009

My FIRST LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It was that Day


COllege 1st year!!!!
It was that day when he wore that white clean shirt that made me thought about those broad shoulders and pure face
. There’s something in that perfect and comfortable arms which never failed to make me feel light and safe. I know back then that nothing will ever feel like that. I knew that it was one of the few things that remind me of heaven – of being so high above everyone else and the things that usually feel like dreaming away from nightmares and other stuff that creates fear and anxiety. Back then, I knew, deep within me, that I found life and spontaneity and it will kill me to lose everything I felt lately. I felt existence and it was so heavy and was so weightless both at the same time that I can fly yet I can feel myself for the first time. I can finally feel my beating heart and my brain is working rationally for the first time. I felt electricity and how it feels to run in my veins so smoothly. I felt bliss and how simple you can get it just from glimpsing at the way he moves or hold his pen or listens to the professor or simply sitting and smiling from time to time. I’ll give up this blog for those. I’ll give up my “car dream” just to witness those.


College second year


It was the day when he wore his blue shirt that made me vowed that I’ll do everything to deserve him – his goodness, his excellence, his perfect-ness. I knew back then that he deserves not just me but everything I am, everything I was and everything I am not. It was a goal set for a lifetime and though I often tell him I love him, it’s not because I need to let him know but because I just simply do and the feeling whenever I say it is increasing at infinity’s power. It was amazing and until I met him, I almost thought it was impossible. I thought that dreams stay only on that world where imaginations are the only things that exist. I know now that he is true and what we have is real though my ego convinces me that it was too good. He is tangible and is my favorite person in the world and that includes the imaginary ones.


College Final YEAR!!!!The last few monthes


It was the day when he was not around and wearing a colorless shirt that made me close my eyes and see him in my wildest dream – in the innermost part of my heart, in the core of my being. It was that day when I promised myself that when the right day came, I won’t let him go far away from me, not even an inch away and then we will, at last, be inseparable – both literally and emotionally. It was that day when I shut up and heard his perfect voice played in my head. It was musical and irresistible and the most assuring sound I ever perceived. I heard the sound when he’s sweet, worried, mad, teasing or sincere. It almost felt real and very comforting that he is so close though yet so far. It was the day when I pretend sleeping and felt his arms wrapped around me – so warm and so gentle, then I can no longer sleep just because reality is a lot better than my dreams. It was then that I whispered “I love you” and though he might not heard, I felt certain. I felt absolute and I included my love for him as the second thing that is constant and doesn’t change. I felt unvarying and I knew it for sure that nothing’s going to change, that everything will just miraculously keep on getting stronger… and I found myself singing with happy love songs, smiling genuinely, worry-free and only him in my mind. I wondered curiously is there exist a feeling better than what I’m celebrating and I knew that there’s none and it’s the best that I can have for the rest of my life.

Sometimes we come across situations when we stop contacting someone not because we dont love them,but because we find that they are much happy without us.........CUTE PAIN but BITTER TRUTH.......

Sunday, August 23, 2009

I am a SAD CLOWN.......... :)


I am a SAD CLOWN.......... :)


I am a happy-go-lucky person. I don’t worry too much about things. I am happy and funny (hopefully… somehow). I am filled with humor and comical ideas that serve as a witty skill to lift someone up whenever they need to be. Despite this truth, I don’t deny that I, too, am a sad clown. I joke around whenever I feel like breaking into pieces. I try to make everyone laugh, thinking about the hardest punch line when I feel like my tears will betray me, exposing my hidden melancholy to the chaotic world. That’s what I do – also the best that I can do, perhaps - I make my whole world positive when I’m the opposite. It’s not about pretending or fooling everyone. It’s about hoping that somehow, the laughter I bring to others is contagious enough to intoxicate me away from those things that leave me bothered.


It’s sad that this skill fails when I needed it the most and I cannot afford to fail one more time. It’s like the person I love the most is sad and though I am not literally committed to keeping him happy all the time, I feel the need to make him laugh and put him in lighter spirits. It’s impossible to just sit there and watch him drowning in his loneliness. It’s impossible for me to not at least try to change everything. I cannot do that. I love him too much that I want him to be genuinely happy always. Doing everything, seeing that nothing is changed and realizing that he doesn’t deserve to suffer from all these, I can only break down and cry. I’m worthless. I’m just a drop and he is an ocean. My skills are rusty and aren’t effective. How I wish that I am better at this.


Maybe the drama ends here. Maybe yes, maybe no but I hope not. I have clear intentions of not making this worse. Later, when I close my eyes to sleep, everything will slip and I’ll wake up with nothing to bother me… to bother him. I really just have to let this out because for justice, my blog should contain how worthless I am – that I can only make him happy and yet I wasn’t successful in making that possible, and that I can make other people who don’t matter that much laughing and happy and in high spirits but with respect to him, I can do nothing enough.And that hurts.

Everything is white and all are in bloom

Flowers falling like tears not of gloom.

With eyes so well-defined and romantic lips

With your sweetness, how can I ever resist?


Nothing shines brighter than the spark of your kiss

Pure and genuine, I never had such bliss

Call me happy or perhaps half-crazy

I’ll stand and show you what’s written in destiny

Oh mister, this love had grown so much

My darling, my fear of losing you had grown larger..................

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Child trafficking.......

The INHUMAN face of the HUMAN society: Child Trafficking!!!!!!

This is heartbreaking. Over one million children live treacherous and degraded lives due to being trafficked in prostitution in India. And 100 million people are involved in human trafficking in India. ONE HUNDRED MILLION. These numbers are staggering and incredibly disturbing This is a country that has so much poverty and yet so much promise. Business has exploded there. And yet it is definitely a country of the haves and the have nots…those who are benefitting from the business explosion and those who live in the slums in abject poverty. Opportunists play both sides…the wealthy buy children to have sex with. The poor sell their children into prostitution. They are all players in this sick and soul-killing game.
If India as a country and as a people does not take bold steps to raise up the poor and stamp out child prostitution, they will see generations of moral and spiritual destitution and poverty that will plague them and destroy any potential greatness their country could realize.
Case of Rubina Ali of Slumdog Millionaire fame...
Children are often seen as commodities in poor areas of India and other countries and parents are left with difficult choices. Rubina’s father said: “We live in one room, seven of us sleep on the floor. I earn £2 to £3 a day. I have to consider what’s best for me, my family and Rubina’s future.”
It is difficult to imagine living in such poverty as the people who live in the Mumbai slums. If you have seen the movie “Slumdog Millionaire,” you got a glimpse of how they live…and of how Rubina lives.
Rubina’s father is being an opportunist. He knows that she can attract the attention of wealthy people who can give her a better life. In that regard, he is no different from the father of Madonna’s Malawi child giving his son up for Madonna to adopt so he could have a better life. Rafiq Qureshi also sees this as his one chance in life to provide for himself and the rest of his family.

To raffle his child off to the highest bidder sends chills up my spine. It is to see a child as an object…something to sell to get money. I think of the preciousness of a daughter…the hopes for her future, the love she gives and brings to the family, the delight in seeing her grow up and develop into her own person, the pride in knowing that she came from you, etc….I cannot imagine under any circumstance selling her or giving her up.
Is this what poverty does? Harden people to the point that they don’t see children and women as precious? Or is there something in the character and genetics of people…people who are so callous and selfish and money-grubbing that they would sell their own daughter even in the face that she could be prostituted…that leads to their poverty? Can one be so bankrupt in morals and love and basic caring for a child and also expect to live in anything but poverty? Don’t the two go hand in hand?


To realize the preciousness of a child is to see oneself as abundant. All the riches in the world come with having a child. And to see a child only as something to be sold means that the poor cannot see true abundance when they have it and will never truly attain it.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

THOUGHTS OF "YOU"

THOUGHTS OF "YOU"

They come to me with evening,
calm and still and bring me peace
these thoughts of you.
Slowly in the quietness of dusk
they fill me with tranquility.
They make my eyes aware of loveliness of intricate shadings of purple and grey.
They bring to me the far-off faint perfume of all unseen and beautiful flowers.
They tune my ears to drowsy humming sounds of winds and waves and distant bird calls.

These beautiful thoughts of YOU are divine and only mine........

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Solitude

SOLITUDE

I like to be alone with me
I find myself good company

I think and feel and deeply muse
and learn to know my innermost views

There are surprises endlessly
I know not what my thoughts will be

And time goes skimming by so fast
the peaceful hours are soon past

I hear some speak of evenings long
and slowly passed as time gone wrong

Not so for me! These hours are mine
as precious gifts, and almost divine

Oh, I need friends and company
and cherish all they mean to me

For solitude cannot be long
and swiftly must it sing its song

Life needs contrast as does true art
and interludes are ever short

Activity must precede rest
and peace well-earned has met its test

But as the shadows follow sun
so do my special hours run

When solitude succeeds life's pace
I find peace in my own space.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

A Rambling Post...........

A Rambling Post

Being at this particularly weird age, young yet not completely carefree...independent yet held by many invisible strings, is confusing indeed. I am to be responsible and grown up yet not a stuffy individual. How do I balance all this out? I live on my own, yet I donot have the freedom (or perhaps the desire) to be an isolated island. But I shall never ever be the bubbling life and soul of a group. It requires just too much effort and my inherent laziness revolts at the idea of such hardship. Does it always have to be extremes...this or that...always a matter of choices? Also I have been wondering whether I have really changed over a period of time, over a series of experiences or do I just like to pretend so?

Living on a campus as beautiful as this is an experience that I shall cherish forever, with the many blossoming friendships and the chance for personal growth. It is entirely up to me how closely inter-twined I wish to let these bonds become...keep everyone at arm's length or let them into my heart. Perhaps it is the many hours spent in company and the unending conversations that build up this impression of closeness...it is perhaps all a mirage. Everybody is finally looking out for themselves...no one cares when it comes to the crunch. Each person is trying to reach for their best under the given circumstances. That is not to say that anybody is out to hurt you specifically but someone else's best may be the worst for you.

Is that too pessimistic...cynical? I would like to think it is a journey towards realism. Perhaps that's all growing up means...that you dream but know that dreams hardly ever come true and that magic shall only be for yourself...for your imagination...it does not exist in the real world. Out here all anybody cares for is the end result...have you succeeded or failed? The journey never matters.

I have been told over and over again for quite some time now that I too trusting, too impressionable, too optimistic and lost in my own world, my dreams, my beliefs and I would just laugh it off and think that people were not ready to look at all the beautiful things out there. But do any of these apparently magical, beautiful things matter? Are they even worth noticing? All these years I have been a naive young fool to believe that it is the process, the people you meet along the way, the million different hues you chance upon, the actual journey that matters the most. But then there are times when you wholeheartedly doubt all that you have trusted your entire life. Disillusionment is good, because it lets you pause and think. Take a break, learn many things all over again just with a different perspective.

I guess all these thoughts, doubts, beliefs, questions and answers are always there fluttering within me. Sometimes a few rush to the fore, sometimes others do but do I ever get anything new from the world or am I constantly regurgitating the same old questions and just trying to come up with different combinations of answers? What is one supposed to do when melancholy strikes with such vengeance for no apparent reason? Even the crashing rains and the thunder and lightening outside cannot wash this mood out. It has become a constant companion lately, sucking the joy out of the little everyday happenings that I used to go ga-ga over. Do I even want to let go? It is a different experience...to not be constantly happy...how boring that seems now. May the questioning continue...perhaps this then is to be the new phase.

Jibon....................

Jibon………….Poth Chola
Aaj amar mon vishon shanto……….
Kono anubhuti kinba kono aakarshan kore aakhun amar mon k klanto….

Jibon er poth chola ta aaj kebol matro ekta jotil proshno…………….
Aaj o bujhini sei aabeg r anubhuti gulo ki shitol na Ushno……….....

Jibon er poth cholte giye bohu bar poth hareachi……………….
Nijeke o hareacchi…….kintu abar karur modhye khuje o peyecchi……

Lal, neel, shada, kalo…nana rong er sapno chilo dui chokhe…………….
Aajana aandhokar kuasa dilo amar sab swapno dheke………………

Spnadan r anubhuti jai e chilo…….
Aro besi nishobdo holo……………

Kintu aasampurnota r modhye o peyecchi aantoric sampoornata…………….
Jemon tomar thot diye prothom bar amake choyar smriti ta………….

Kintu jibon er r eek nam poth chola…………………….
Nijeke purea fele o kintu onnoder jonno jola………….

Friday, June 19, 2009

YOU.........

YOU........

Standing all alone at the riverside.........
I still wait for you to be my pride..........

I see you,I feel you,I smell you......that touch is still so very alive......
And I take my imagination from there aside......

You are in my dreams,you are my love,my idol,my god,my inspirations........


But a mist of cloud was there in every plight......
The dark sky and the bright stars of night...........

When I look down at the image of myself at the riverside......
I found nothing as it was a mirage..........but still I found a tear dropped into the desert.........

But when I tried to hold it back..............
I found YOU in that............

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

A toast to FrIeNdShIp

DEAR FRIEND:

What to say about this girl!!!A girl next door,but I bet U wont find sucha girl next door so easily.Yes.I mean it.A full crack pot kind of a material.Stupid,fool,indisciplined,multi shade charecters,but yet so vibrant,colourful,jovial,unpredictable and magnanimous.She is the most cranky and wanky girl I have ever come across.She is so unpredictable at times that she even looses her track.At 23,she is still like a 13 years of teenager who prefers looking at the world through her coloured glass,the way she wants the external world to be.She is still so childish and innocent,but always predends to be too mature.She is the biggest fool I have ever seen.She is as fresh as the opening of a rose,as pure as the birth of a child and as vibrant as the sunset at Lagoons.She is fully MAD.But at the end of the day,she is one of my closest friend. And U cant stop yourself from pampering her.Believe me,she is so adorable.But ………there is a big but here.She can drive you real crazy and irritate you like hell as she is so nagging.And when she shouts or shows her crazyness…….U cant stand her.She makes strange faces and she is a full entertainment network plus a catoon channel…..and anytime gives the famous Tom and Jerry a run for its money as she is more hilarious and when this girl is in full action……you cant stop yourself from watching her.And her taste about foods or ordering a cuisine at restaurant is as great her she is!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!Let me give an example.Have you ever seen any waiter stumbling and staring at the face of the person who is giving order and even cant control his laughter and astonishment and a big questionmark at his face?????Then you must tahe this girl to any restaurant.Of many such great experience with her,let me share a few.Once we were to a restaurant and she ordered Chicken Manchurian with Paratha,that too dried Manchurian.She likes to mix Chinese delicacy with Mughalai foods like Mixed fried rice with Biriani.Or Chicken Tandoori with Hakka Noodles.She is so unstable in everything she does.If today she likes Black,the next day she would like white and hate black like anything.In one word,this girl is CRAZY.

But What I actually love about her is she has a beautiful mind and probably this 5 feet girl has the biggest heart.Trust me, she has a golden heart,but to get a permanent place in her heart is a tough one.She is very straight forward and honest girl.But again a correction need to be done is honesty and integrity is restricted for those who has a permanent place in her heart……Leaving that she is Bindaas about everything else.She is very friendly and pretty understanding at times……yes at times only…if you are lucky at that time…else…she is the queen of Nagging.Now coming to her weakness,she has countless one……the biggest one is she is so carried away by others…its so easy to influence her…and again,…this special girl never learns from her mistake.She always does those stuffs which you asked her not to do….Like when I say her not to turn her face atthat side or not to look at that person at that moment,she by default does that.Actually she is by default a Fool.But I love this fool so much and I am so attached with her.She doesnot understand anything about music as anything which has strong beads interest her…………but the next very day she would make it a point to hate that and promise not to hear that song again in like.She is very emotional and doesn’t know how to control it…..………..My sweetheart….my friend,my sister,and even my mentor too.Actually I have learnt a whole lot of things from her and she is a true friend.I would really wanna treasure you all along in my life.You make everyday of my life so special and you would be always in my heart as the cranky crackpot who makes face like a pug…so sweet one.
This one is only for you:
When you're down in the dumpsand joys seem gone ...Remember this maxim dear ..."The clouds have a lining of silvery gauze."We must turn them inside out - becauseSpring will soon be here.There's a feel in the airand a joyous lilt ...comes to the heart that's sick and sad ...as the silvery clouds hurriedly fly ...racing madly across the skyhelping to make us glad!The season is changing.We're changing too ...Guard the smile in your heart today.Green grasses are growing, and rivulets run ...Flowers will be blooming, springtime will come ...and joy in our hearts will stay!

I pray to god…that you always be like this…..and would get all the happiness in the earth.And if I can wish something more…..I would ask god to give you some more Brain…yes the gray matter.
Love you….and wish you every success in life.

A blog which shouldn't be named!!!!!!!

72... hours and still counting...

There is something incredibly exhilarating about being so completely exhausted and tired that my brain is kind of disconnected with the rest of me! At times I can go on for a couple of days without sleep, but there definitely has to be strong enough motivation for me to miss out on sleep. It can be an extracurricular activity that I am doing for myself or the short but sweet time spent with friends doing crazy things like playing cards late into the night and then going to bed only after having seen the moon set, the sun rise and with a hot cup of coffee warming me or gazing at the stars as they seem to move across the dark night sky and even at times an experiment which just cannot be planned in a more sane manner. So such late nights or rather early mornings and unending sagas of sleep deprivation would normally be expected to make a person cranky, prone to mood swings and basically depressed. In my case I seem to notice that I do pass through the above-mentioned phases but then I reach that point beyond which nothing seems to impinge; its like all my inhibitions are lowered, I say stuff and am a lot more outspoken than normal. And the best part is I am aware that I am behaving differently but well, I couldn't care less! It makes me wonder if perhaps this is what happens when one is just slightly, pleasantly drunk. Someday, I intend to find out :D !!!
Anyway, as I was saying, it is a great feeling to test my limits and to see how long and how far I can stretch myself before collapsing entirely. Most call me mad, think I am not careful enough. But the fact of the matter is, at times it is the best choice I can make. While I am still young enough to be able to handle this, while I am still resilient enough is the very time to try out all this madness. Later I might be too old, too prim and proper, too 'grown-up' to even consider going days without sleep or getting so tired that if I just stop in the middle of a sentence, I could fall asleep!
So I say, live exactly the way you wish to while you still have the freedom to do so. Do all the crazy wild stuff you might have dreamed about, all the supposedly irresponsible things you have always wanted to do and all the "living it king-size", while you are still young and able enough. You never know what tomorrow holds...so live entirely for today...and enjoy it to the fullest...and never regret it as long as each one of your decisions is wholeheartedly yours.

But still if god has to change anything in my life and give me a wish.....I want my grandparents back in my life....................I miss them.....................

I Listen to Wind

I listen to Wind
I remember now how the sky once looked...I want to go home, lie down on the terrace and watch the clouds move by. I want to look into the inviolably deep light-blueness of the evening sky and wonder about something. Anything. I remember the feel of the hard uneven cement under my back and legs. I remember the friction as I tried moving to a more comfortable place. I remember recognizing the patch of darker filler cement where the older cement had come loose by the shape of the pressure. I remember the warmth of the floor on my neck and hands as I lay there. I remember remembering to worry about having to answer for dirtied clothes much too late.I remember all this suddenly as I read of a conversation a person had with the sea. And for some reason, I feel the quiver of excitement in my legs. This feeling will go too; by the time the weekend is here and I go home, I will forget to run up and try this again. Even if I did, I know I'm going to get stuck in a time warp again and obsess over everything that's gone by. In a sense I'm glad for not remembering, for feelings from the past can't be like recipes in a cook-book. Nostalgia (An elegant broth to fortify the soul). Take 2 measures depression, 1 measure satisfaction, 6 measures alcohol. Stir well, add rain to taste. Serves 1. For a lifetime. Always take with a pinch of salt.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Ugulaterian Society:Utopia

  An UtopiaYes.Every time a human society left a power position unoccupied, that position has been filled by some entity or person almost immediately. It looks like any human society self-organizes to fill the power lack. Jacobinism first and Communism later have made equality a revolutionary message that has deeply transformed their relevant societies, but the inequality, the injustice, the differences have taken punctually place in new organizations, transformed only at their surface level to reflect the new features of renewed society. These revolutions have transformed the society to re-establish old social networks still characterized by the presence of "hub" of various weights. A "hub" is still a center of power.Then the centers of power can not remain uninhabited, because the society itself prevents the lack of power to persist. We should not be surprised to think of society as an organisation having its own awareness: any superior body has mechanisms that fix situations highly unfavourable for its survival. There are hundreds of examples one can draw from the living world. Dismantled a pre-existing "hub" due to some revolution, a new "hub" appears to re-interpret the role of the previous one. Indeed, it is likely that the new hub was already existing, and that the revolution is the manifestation of the struggle between the newcomer and the pre-existing one, between the "subversive" and "conservative".The question then becomes independent of the nature of man, and its virtues and weaknesses: the true terms of the problem are to search in complex systems, "living" systems, adaptive systems, the populations of cooprating individuals. Those mechanisms could be common to many classes of these systems, perhaps there even exist universal characteristics, which human societies can never escape even they will want to.If this is true, as I think, then a society in which all individuals are equal is a pure utopia, and the state of total equality of members is devoid of any utility. it would be rather harmful and is not desirable. While it is desirable to fully understand these mechanisms, to transfer this knowledge in political systems, so that they fit the "structural" requirements of human societies to the benefit of prosperity and welfare of individuals.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The OTHER SEX

Eunuchs -- India's Third Gender
Their face is their fortune. Caked in cheap rouge, kajal, powder and lipstick, they dress in ill-fitting blouses and colourful saris in a grotesque parody of womanhood as they roam the busy marketplaces in groups, terrorizing pedestrians, hustling for ten or a hundred rupees. These are not your average beggars on the street. With male voices shouting expletives, palms meeting crossways in a trademark clap, they prey on susceptible passersby, who will part with their cash sooner than be treated to the sight of the group collectively lifting up their saris and flashing castrated genital areas right in their faces.
Eunuchs - castrated males - have been in existence since the 9th Century BC. The word derives from the Greek "keeper of the bed" because castrated men were in popular demand to guard royal harems. The practice is believed to have started in China where, at the end of the Ming dynasty, there were as many as 70,000 eunuchs in the grand palace itself and many thousands more waiting to fill vacancies in the royal quarters. In the 1930s, when American journalist Vincent Starrett visited Beijing, he interviewed 33 palace eunuchs, ranging in age from 60 to 80. In his journals, he described the surviving eunuchs as "thin, hairless, fat-lipped and bejowled...with shrill voices and hair which hang down to their necks."
By 1960, the number of Chinese eunuchs had dwindled to 26 living in Beijing, and 1996 saw the death of Sun Yaoting, the last of these noble civil servants who passed away a little before his ninety-fourth birthday.
India is the only country where the tradition of eunuchs is prevalent today. There are about 1 million of them, though their role in life has changed drastically from that of royal servants, confidantes and friends.
Eunuchs, or hijras as they are called here, have become something to be feared. Nobody wants to be accosted by one of them - be nudged with their elbows, stroked on the cheek, taunted, cursed and flashed.
It's by taking advantage of this discomfort and embarrassment at their existence, that hijras in 21st Century India are making their living. Begging isn't their only source of income. It's an age-old custom in the country to have hijras bless childbirths, weddings, housewarmings and other auspicious occasions. The eunuchs are believed to possess occult powers, and their blessings - and curses - are both considered potent.
The community has a complex network system, which informs them of every happy event in the neighbourhood. No sooner has a baby been born in the family that a tinkle of ankle-bells herald the arrival of the hijras. They sing and dance and create a commotion outside the house until the mother has allowed them to look at the baby. Once they have blessed the child they demand exorbitant sums of money in lieu of their good wishes. The inspection also carries an ulterior motive. On rare occasions when the baby is born a eunuch, the hijras insist that the baby is given to them. Often, the families will comply to avoid humiliation in society, and the group will take the child away to their ghettoes to raise him as he should be: as one of their own.
What happens in these ghettoes is a mystery few know about. Most people, in fact, have no notion about how hijras come to be. Some believe they are simply born that way - males without the male genitalia - while others will tell you that they are really men who were forcibly castrated in their youth.
Both views are true, though natural eunuchs are a very rare occurrence and castration isn't always by force. An `operation' as hijras call it, is cause for huge celebrations in the community. It is performed out of doors, and feasts, song and dance are rituals that attend the event, which is orchestrated by the head of the community known as Gurus.
Views differ on the exact process of castration and one would believe that there are several procedures by which the hijras dispense with unwanted male appendages. A common practice, however, begins with the individual being sequestered in isolation for some days during which he is fed on a diet of opium and milk to keep him in a permanent state of intoxication. On a day declared auspicious by the Guru, the boy is laid down on a hard surface and a cord is tied tightly around his testicles to stop the flow of blood. Several eunuchs hold him down as a sharp knife severs the penis and testicles in one swift movement. The wound is bled for a period of hours, to signify the draining of manhood and the onset of womanhood. A metal or wooden plug is inserted into the wound to stop full closure and leave an aperture for the passage of urine. Hot oil is poured over the area and herbs are placed on it to hasten the healing process
Some communities, however, do not consider the procedure complete until the boy has been made to sit on a grinding stone and pushed down until he bleeds from the anus. The drops of blood are taken to signify the first menstruation, and only then is the initiation complete.
Thereafter, the Guru takes over the proper upbringing of the newest member. Everything the young hijra learns about the clan's customs and traditions is at the feet the Guru. His adopted family of fellow hijras provides a loving environment and he is fed, clothed and looked after well until he too feels a sense of security and well-being.
The hijras I met at a ghetto near a famous red light area in Kolkata seemed pretty content with their lot in life. Till now, all I knew about them was that they were neither men nor women, were rude and aggressive people and lived in areas where outsiders were strictly unwelcome. But I happened to be near a hijra neighbourhood, and in a spirit of adventure, I asked a male friend who was with me, if we could take our taxi close enough to see some of them.
The houses they lived in were typical Bombay chawls - ancient three to four-storeyed structures with a long, common verandah running down the front of each floor. Hijras were everywhere, leaning over the banisters, walking down the narrow street, chatting, laughing, combing each other's hair. The appearance of our taxi caused no stir, and encouraged by this, my friend stopped the car and walked a small distance to chat up a hijra. He'd pretend to be a customer, he said. At that point, I had no idea that hijras also sold their bodies. Yet, many of them were indeed standing at doorsteps, hand on hip, the way I had seen prostitutes pose in the adjacent Kamatipura red-light area. Men were everywhere, walking in and out of the buildings.
A couple of hijras walked up to the taxi in which I was sitting and I watched their progress with mounting fear. The presence of a female in their ghetto must anger these people, and I wondered if they would react violently to this intrusion.
As we made our way along the second-floor verandah, hijras who were lounging about reached forward to shake my hand. I was amazed to note that I caused more of a flutter among them than my male friend. Used to women who ran away at the sight of them, it appeared I was a novelty in these parts and everybody wanted to get closer and touch me.
The room we were led into contained two beds, and a hijra who looked to be about 70 was cutting vegetables into neat piles. I was wondering how they entertained customers in such a domestic environment when Lata, the one my friend had chosen, pointed at a narrow ladder placed at one end of the room. The ladder led up to a platform which was partitioned into three cubicles. Each contained a stained mattress and a naked bulb hung from a low ceiling. Lata led us into her own cubicle and I gathered this was where they serviced the men. There wasn't enough room to sit cross-legged on the mattress and Lata giggled merrily as we tried to get comfortable without banging our heads on the ceiling.
My friend had paid her Rs 300 for an hour, during which time we said we only wanted to talk to her. The request didn't seem to surprise Lata - probably because I was present and there was little chance of any real action - and agreed to tell us her story.In this context,I want to tell that my friend is a social worker working for a famous NGO in Kolkata.It was due to him only,I got an opportunity to meet these wonderful people who are just like us,but still outcasted from the society.
She used to be a young boy from Bihar before her operation, she said. When she was young, her school-master would take her to lonely classrooms and sodomise her regularly. The discomfort disappeared after a while and when other village men began to prey on her, it didn't feel bad or abnormal. By the time she was 17, Lata knew she liked what the men did to her and she decided to have an operation. She couldn't explain the need to cut off her male genitals and could only say that it made her feel more of a woman. Soon after, having collected enough money for the procedure, she ran away and got herself operated at a local clinic in Bihar which did this kind of stuff. Thereafter, she came to Bombay, having heard that business was good in the city, and was pretty content servicing men who visited this hijra neighbourhood.
Clients who came to their quarters, she said, were often heterosexual men who could not afford a female prostitute. The rest were closet gays for whom hijras were the only source of release for pent-up frustrations.
Before the evening was over and we left the place, I had spoken to several members of the community. While all of them told stories that suggested they had homosexual tendencies, few could explain the need to neuter themselves or adopt the hijra way of life. "We are the third gender," said Sita, my first hijra friend. "There is no room for homosexuals in this society. And none of us can envisage a life where we are forced to marry females and have children by them. So the only way out is to cut off our manhood and become hijras. This is the only community which will accept us and let us live our lives the way we want to. By not being heterosexuals, we are already damned. As a hijra, at least we are not the sole target of the derision and ridicule that society heaps on us. We can endure it as a community."
The feeling that life has shortchanged them often prompts their perverse and obscene behavior in public. "What more do we have to lose?" says Sita. "We are anyway treated worse than an untouchable. If we overdo the kind of behavior that is expected of us, we can twist people's arms and make them pay for our sustenance. It's the least society can do for us."
The freedom this deviant existence affords within the community, however, is not without some restrictions. Their society is strictly hierarchical and a eunuch's life is governed by regulations laid down by his immediate superior. Hijras all over the country are divided into seven `houses'. Each house has a Nayak at its head, below whom come several Gurus. The Gurus in turn rule over the community members and regulate their day-to-day life. While the houses of north India have very rigid systems, the ones in the south are said to be more relaxed in the way the members dress and behave.
The high point of every eunuch's life is the annual festival at Koovagam, a small village 200 miles south of Madras. On Chitrai Purnima, the new year of the Tamil lunar calendar, the sleepy little village becomes a hive of activity as hijras from all over the country converge for a 'ceremony of marriage and subsequent widowhood'.
The scene is adopted from the Mahabharata, one of India's two great epics. During the battle of Kurukshetra, the Pandavas brothers had to sacrifice one warrior to gain a tactical edge over their warring cousins. Their war council selected Aravanan, one of epic hero Arjuna's sons. The boy agreed to die for the holy cause of defeating the wicked Kaurava cousins, but he expressed a wish to marry first. Aravanan's last wish posed a huge problem, for who would knowingly let their daughter marry a man who would die in battle the very next day? To solve the issue, Lord Krishna assumed the form of Mohini, a beautiful woman, and married Aravanan.
The man-woman context appealed to the eunuch community, and for over 500 years, Aravanan has been deified and made central to the eunuch psyche. The hijras see themselves as Mohini, and on the festival day the priest at Aravanan's temple marries them off to the diety. The next day, the priest cuts the mangalsutra, the marriage chain, and the hijras all become widows. After the marriage celebrations and mournings of widowhood are over, the time comes for hijras to mingle and find new mates. A number of competitions take place then, notable among which is the annual beauty contest. In gaudily embroidered saris, elaborate hair styles, make-up and jewellery, the hijras parade down the aisle, showing off their stuff to thunderous applause from the crowds.
In recent years, events such as the hijra beauty contest have begun to receive a lot of public attention, and a group of eunuchs even had the opportunity to model in a professional fashion show, which was well-attended by India's fashion circle and the media. This attempt at bringing them to the forefront of public consciousness was a huge success and the eunuchs who took part couldn't get over the fact that they were sharing the stage with Miss Indias and the country's leading models.
Not quite so much in the media glare, however, are a number of social bodies such as the Hijra Kalyan Sabha and the Dai Welfare Society which are working alongside these eunuchs to give them a proper place in society. "We too want to go to restaurants, visit cinema halls and parks," says Revathi, a hijra activist who was in Calcutta recently at a social meet. "We also want to educate ourselves and improve our prospects. We want to enjoy the privileges of being an Indian, and I believe that in time we will achieve our dream. Hijras have already won elections and entered the field of politics. Movies are being made about us, and people are trying to understand our predicament. It’s not that they never tried to bring a change. Of course they did! Many of them tried to bring a change but an inflexible and staunch society like ours never wishes to change! What else can they be discriminated against? Is there any column meant for a eunuch, in any normal application form? Why should they compromise of being a girl or a guy, if they are actually someone else? And even if they are different, who decided that they are not normal like us? Is sexuality the only parameter of defining normalcy (in our society)? If these questions puzzle us so much, think how frustrated a human being would be if he is born with such confusion in life. In case, we can’t understand them, we have no right to hate them!In the world's largest democracy...maybe there's hope for us yet."

Saturday, March 7, 2009

SMILE ThErApY...........:-)

Smile:The need of the Current WORLD

Nothing is permanent in life. Life has its own shadows black in the night,Brightness in the day...It is a continual challenge.. Just take life as it comes and enjoy every bit of it… Each moment in life is a phase.Face them with a smile ,good or bad.Life is beautiful if you look at it with a smile.

Happiness shows best when you put that smile on your face! A smile can make anyone happy.

A smile, it is said, is a curve which can put things straight. Costing nothing and conveying so much, it is one of the best things in this world which are for free

Frown and you frown alone," it is sometimes said, "but smile and the whole world smiles with you." The whole world? That may be a stretch, but a smile can be incredibly powerful. Wearing a warm smile can draw people to you, put others at ease, and even cheer you up.

Living in the favorable and unfavorable situation is called Part of living. But, smiling in all those situations is called Art of living.

A smile…is sweet


A smile… can improve one face value

A smile …does not cost anything


Always take a moment to smile. It makes people wonder what you are up to . Life can give you a hundred reasons to cry but you can give life a thousand reasons to smile. My Lips curve into a smile …for so many reasons.. Few are here…


Smiling just like that... need to be a reason every time.??

In life too, we gain more marks by a cheerful smile and thereby expressing an agreeable face. A tremendous amount of goodwill is gained through this seemingly simple gesture.

Most important benefit of a smiling face is ease of relationship in family

Keep smiling and keep your family happy. ;)

We all need this magic charisma of SMILE...........Love to smile always.Basically I am a very happy go lucky kind of a person and live life each day to the fullest.........Plz it is my sincere request to you all that take atleast 5 minutes time from your busy schedule everyday and keep it for SMILING.........At anything you like.......Give yourself happiness......Live for yourself only for yourself,for your sake for that 5 minutes......and in that 5 mins..........be selfish and smile for the reason you actually want.............Believe me......trust me .......you would be destressed and find every reason to enjoy living...............for others as well as for others.And never miss an opportunity to make atleast one person in every single day smile............Give him a small moments of happiness,..........share his sorrows..........And believe me............We all would be able to reach the ultimate state of Nirvana.............something Next to GOD..............And we would be content from inside..........Core of heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ACKNOWLEDEMENTS:My this blog and all my previous blogs and the blogs I would write in future is only dedicated to my Father.........My dad......My inspiration.He is the person who taught me the real value of living.......My dad taught me to live life happily with a smile in face........Baba(my dad).....you are my God......My life.Thank you for making me happy and enabling me to hold smile in my face because you took up all my sorrows..........But Sorry..........at this time of writing this acknowledgement.......I can't hold back my tears............I am proud of you DaD!!!!!!!Now its my time for me to give you happiness.I love you DAD...........you are the best.You are the best person person of the world......Just be like that BABA.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Mumbai Attack....9/11 For Indians

In the name of Allah.....Jihad...They says......I wonder if they even know the right meaning and values of their religion……….The values and morals in the life of a real Muslim...Is it spreading chaos around the world and killing the innocent and poor to achieve their destiny.............Ultimately do they have a destiny………Yes, the destiny of destruction, massacre, and a peaceless world of havoc and uncertainty.The photos featured of the Mumbai attack are taken by some professionals........I got a glimpse of these pictures in a forwarded mail from my friend…………I cant post these here for the photos made me think about my fellows and my country and want to make you people think about the cruel face of terrorism.........which claims innocent lives. And some times they target people of their own religion……..its because their main motive is to constantly make peaceful and innocent people under constant fear that anytime,anyday they can come under the cruel claws of TERROR ATTACK. Above 250 deaths, 250 injured...Traditional landmark of Mumbai THe TAJ MAHAL PALACE destroyed partially....India has lost her number of brilliant policemen and commandos...The scenes are heart breaking.............It was more fearful than it looks in the picture I saw in the News Channels or News paper…………….Imagine someone points an AK47 to you and fires all over you and your friends...That's happened herein Mumbai.................
The Debris and The Dead Bodies.....................at CST station when The People Were Waiting For The Train, Not Bullets...........That fateful day which changed everything.
After seeing a scene from Chatrapaji Shivaji Railway station after the attack...This is one of the largest and busiest railway stations in the world, where the terrorists attacked the crowd with AK- 47...Pouring bullets all over...........on anybody and everybody they can set target………indiscriminately killing innocent lives forgetting that within these people…..there can be their own brother of same religion who never though that his brother can cause him this fate!!!!!!!!!!!!!TERRORISM has no religion.Its main motive is to disrupt peaceful lives and to end everything…………..Gun Shots...Spilt Blood..Rolling Tears...Havoc allover...Innocent Human Life Loss...adding all these.............. TERRORISM!!!!!Human bodies soaked in blood laying in the streets after the brutal attack....Which religion in this world claims innocent human lives for its existence.........A real Muslim wont act like this to his fellow beings……….A Great religion is getting bad impression in these ruthless activities of terrorists in the name of Allah.....in the name of Jihad………and they even don’t know the meaning of JIHAD……………JIJAD doen’t tell to kill innocent lives………..It is what these handful group of people,who proclaimed them as JIHADIS are in my opinion not at all have any religion…….They are not even Muslims……..because Islam is one of the best religion which teaches love,kindness,respect ansdspread of brotherhood.Infact no religion askes to take up innocent lives to fulfill one’s selfish motive.TERRORISM has no religion, it relies on persons and organizations which are injecting the poison into young blood and using them to achieve their ideologies... When said in the name of Muslim many poor Muslim youngsters are dragged into it............The attackers are simply weapons in the hands of their leaders.......If we have to stop this we have to eliminate the origin.......The youngsters involved in are merely the leaves of the tree. Cut the root to stop the budding of new leaves......................Here I want to urge and raise a very simple question that wedon't want to know How sophisticated our weapons are?...Don't wanna know how developed our Nation is?... But Feels guilty, for we can't give an innocent cute child his parents back..........His parents are shot dead and a woman saved this child...........I got to see his picture in a news paper mentioning he is from Israel.Today he lost his parents..Don't know if he realize the depth of his loss !! But he know one thing, his parents are not around him to hug him, to kiss him, to protect him...He is left alone in this world with his playing ball.....wont you feel the grief burning in that small innocent heart from his crying face and flooded eyes.. No words can console him.........None can give him back what he lost for ever.I want to ask those mastermind,those proclaimed terrorist groups who claim themselves that they are doing service to their religion that what harm this young child did to them?He does not knew the meaning of Jihad or who are these Terrorist?He only understand the language of love.In every religion,we treat childen as closest to God,the Almighty,the Allah!!!!!then why and for what reason this innocent was snatched of his right?The right to be loved by parents,his share of the warm Love and Care.Nobody can answer this …………not even those who did his heinous CRIME…………a sin to that Child,a sin to humanity and mostly a SIN to THEMSELVES………..their individuality……..their morals …………Later the child was sent to his country(ISRAEL) with the woman who rescued him..........And then the story ends…………..We don’t know anything after this…………….I pray to god …………..to look after him as now he is an Orphan and give him enough strength,courage and mostly Love…………He will need it badly………………..The first time i saw this photo i felt the grief burning in that child's heart and i realized drops of tears hiding in my eyes.......I let it flow………but I am so helpless,as I can’t do anything for him.I cant save his parents from the massacre which stormed our nation.The person who took this picture is a professional. He came out successful in getting the emotions captured...I will consider me as a photographer if I could take something like this..........And I would consider myself a human being,if I will be able to value the emotions of his expression………and give him back his share of Love.But I know,I can’t………I am helpless.Burnt To Ashes
Some parts inside the TAJ hotel which caught fire in the grenade attack by the terrorists...Said that an estimate of 400 crores needed to renovate the hotel..The TAJ MAHAL PALACE which was the pride of Indians was more to a hotel...It was given its archaeological importance for its tradition...Archaeological department has offered help in the renovation works of this hotel now...;……..But nobody can wash the bloodstains..the Black memeory of the fateful day.
Muslims Prays to ALLAH,(in a news paper photograph)
Oh God give light to our brothers thoughts to stop this Cowardly act of taking innocent lives...May the souls of the innocent men dead rest in peace with your blessings...Help our minds to cop up with this difficult situations...Give peace and rest to souls of the brave commandos who served their country with their life...Take care of peoples who lost their loving ones in this inhuman act............Give them strength so that they can overcome the loss.

"Flooded Eyes Everywhere"
Whole country prayed in a common prayer behind candles...Can anybody find a remedy for these losses to our families and nation...Hope our government will take actions to prevent terrorism...But the Nations has to move together and have to strongly determine, against these inhuman organizations.
We salute the brave Commandoes,the Policemen,the common men who sacrificed their lives to save other’s lives.I am proud of them………….For them we still feel secured…………….From The Funeral Of ATS Chief Hemant Karkare...................TO Some other brilliant officers of the Maharashtra police also lost their lives besides Karkare... ……………Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan (NSG) ,The one from Kerala gave his life for his country and people..Let us pray for those brave hearts, who gave our lives back by sacrificing their life.............After The Battle..
NSG commandos watching from the balcony of TAJ MAHAL PALACE after their military operation..The militants are eliminated and one was caught alive in the fight...Crores of Indians thanking you for giving back their lives...May God gave you the courage and strength to save and secure our country from these anti social elements……………..We bow our heads infront of you……………You are the realGOD at that time.We are proud of you.
Autograph Please.....Commandos...The Real Heroes OF Our Country
People gathered around a commando vehicle and getting autographs... These brave men served their country well...We Indians salute you ...
Rolling Tears and Burning Candles
A possession through the mumbai streets against terrorism happened………...Praying for the souls of men who lost their lives in the attack...Even though prayers and condolences can't get back lost lives, lets do what we can for the victims, the brave soldiers and their families..................Be Proud To Serve Our Fellow Humans, Be Proud To Protect, To Take Care, To Love, To Respect............................Proud To Be An Indian..................
The terrorists had thorough planning before the attack..The places were watched before the attack was planned... One of the Shot dead chef of TAJ called home before he died and said that his friend shot him down...These people are getting into each and every corners of life.........They has no religion, No boundaries, No Humanity........Only One Destiny..Destruction till the End....Keep our Youth from getting injected with its poison...Let the religious leaders teach its followers, mainly the youth, what the religion is meant for you and your fellows....Let us respect and take care of each other....This post is my tribute To My Country And the Brave Soldiers who fought till dead for our country............We Salute You.Am posting it late, as I don’t want you to forget this,the heinous incident…………and so that it would remain fresh in our heart and together we will strive and take ought to protect our COUNTRY rather than blaming our GOVERNMENT and SECURITY FORCES.We can make our country better…………only we can do this.Lets join hands and make a SAFER INDIA.And I still believe we will do it.

Any Questions………..Sugessions…………Querreies…………….are welcome.Please feel free to give me our comments.Please spare a little bit of your valuable time and Bounce back with Comments and Sugessions………………………………..How can we make a safer India???